Author: Jenn

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Relieving Stress Part I

As a single mom of three kids ages 14, 10 and 7 as well as a Grad Student and Pre-Nursing Student (among many other things) I deal with stress.

When things recently came to a head I knew there were things I had to do. Stress is known to affect your health, cause memory problems and alter your behavior. If it continues, stress can and has killed people. I still have a lot of life to live so changing my behavior had to start immediately.

Identify your stressors-What causes you stress?

Take some time for yourself. Even if it is taking a walk by yourself for a few minutes a day to clear your mind, Do it.

Write things down in a journal and when you do, be sure to write at least five positive things down. Positive thoughts will help you gradually change your attitude. It doesn’t happen overnight. Within one to two weeks of daily work you will see a difference! Let that be the last thing you do before bedtime. If you can, write at least one positive thing down in the morning and then try to reflect on it. Creating a positive attitude takes time and reprogramming your brain will take effort on your part. Start out small and add to it.

Talk to someone who is positive and has an optimistic attitude. You want someone uplifting who is great listener but can also give you some constructive criticism if need be.

If you feel you are beyond the basics of relieving stress, seek professional help even if it is your pastor or other clergy. If a group is available consider trying that. Make an effort to not hold things in.

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Replacing the motor mounts on a 2000 VW Passat

Shortly after I started routinely driving my new 2000 Passat, it was making a horrid, unnerving thumping sound. At first I thought it was a CV axle but after putting it on my best friend’s hydraulic lift the axles appeared to be fine.  I then had it inspected by a VW mechanic and was told that the front (snub mount) and two side motor mounts were bad.   I had him change the front one after reading that it involved removing the front bumper and radiator support.  I decided to do the other two myself.

 
I began by searching for a reasonable price for the mounts since the mechanic was going to charge me $310 parts and labor.  Most places wanted over $100 each.  I finally found a place (am-autoparts) where I could get both for under $100. It turns out the place I purchased them from I had purchased a heated mirror for my dad’s Ford F-350 which he has been pleased with even after two years.  The motor mounts arrived three days later.
 
To begin, I raised the car. I supported the engine using a screw jack. I used a block of wood to protect the aluminum oil pan. Next, I removed the sway bar from the frame. I left the end links attached and just swung the bar down out of the way.  The sway bar is held by four nuts with 13mm hex.
 
Next I removed the driver’s side mounting tab from the sub frame.   This is a triangular aluminum part held to he sub frame by three long bolts with 18mm heads. One bolt is longer than the others so keep up with where it goes.  Removing these bolts allowed the subframe to separate slightly from the car body due to the way I had the car jacked up. But not so much that the bolts could not be put back. I just felt it was better to do only one side at a time.
 
 
With the mount out of the way, there was just enough room to reach the top mounting bolt of the mount with a stubby 13mm wrench.  It took a lot of patience to get the nut off the top as there was limited space to turn the nut and the locking compound kept it form spinning with just fingers.
 
With the mount off the engine it was obvious that the rubber was broken allowing the engine to lift under load.   I placed the new mount in position taking care to align the locating tabs in the slot of the mounting surface.  It was tedious to get the nut run down far enough to get the tabs to stay in place so it could be worked with just one hand.
 
Once the upper nut was tight, I placed the lower bracket in place stating the longest bolt first. I made sure all three bots were started and the lower stud of the mount was centered before tightening them down.
 
I then moved to the passenger side.  Again I dropped the aluminum mount and made room to access the top of the motor mount. There seems to be slightly more room to reach in on this side. But it still took many shorts turns of the wrench to get the nut off.  I installed the new mount the same as before. I then replaced the aluminum mounting bracket.
 
When I swung the sway bar back into position, it did not want to line up at first.  It took some pushing and shoving before the brackets slipped back over the mounting studs. Once it was in position, I tightened the four nuts and was done.
 
The motor feels much more connected to the car now. Acceleration is smoother and the shifting has improved.
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Dealing With Bullies

After reading the tragic story of Amanda Todd, it really hit home about the things my children as well as myself have experienced when it comes to bullying. Interestingly enough as I read through the comments at the bottom of the story I came across one who said that those who are aware of bullying, including the teachers and do nothing about it are just as guilty as the bully themselves. Strong words yet they are the truth, in my own opinion.

My oldest son who is 10 years old has been dealing with a bully for the last year. His teachers, counselor, principal and therapist are all aware of the bullying issue yet most of them except his Learning Support Specialist and Therapist  are doing Nothing about it. Constantly I am getting phone calls and letters about issues with my son. They have noticed his behavior is not the best this year. When I tell them the contributing factor to that is dealing with the bully they just brush it off as if it is nothing.

Imagine your child who has been harassed, picked on, blamed for things he didn’t do tries to take up for himself and of course gets into trouble. He tells you he hates school because of so and so, becomes aggressive in trying to deal with the situation.  When you get a call or letter from the school and tell them it IS because he is being bullied and then they brush it off as if it is nothing, it is beyond frustrating.

I will never forget two days before school was supposed to start this year. My son and I went to the meet-the-teacher night. As I walked over to his assigned desk my heart sank. The bully was once again in the same class with him! When I shared with my son that this bully was in the same class with him it was as if a switch was flipped inside, to the off position. I recently found out that the Learning Support Specialist told me she had told the guidance counselor not to put my son and the bully in the same class. *SIGH*

You see, my oldest son is high functioning Autistic. He is a very special boy who is smart, handsome, talented, creative, adventurous and caring (at times). He can be a very helpful boy when he wants to.

Yes, my son can be at times impulsive, rarely aggressive and defiant.

This year though it’s obvious something is going on with him. He is totally distracted and unfocused. From what he tells me he doesn’t care anymore because he hates school.

I have been contemplating just homeschooling him next year although I have been teetering back and forth about just pulling him out of school this year. My child is withdrawing from life and I as a parent have to do something!

 

When I was slightly older than my son, I was faced head on with a bully. I was a very shy, timid girl mostly because of my appearance. I had bucked teeth from the fourth grade until ninth grade and there were plenty of times I was picked, called bucked toothed. But there was this one girl named Lynn in the same grade as me, who was just downright mean to people. If you looked at her she would react negatively coming at you as if she wanted to hit you. She would talk bad about people behind their backs.  Whenever you walked down the hallway Lynn would try to trip you, smack the back of your head or act as if she was going to hit you. There were times she got into fights with people.

Unfortunately for me and my brother who is three years younger than me, Lynn lived about a half mile down the road from us. She rode the same bus with us so not only did I have to deal with Lynn at school I had to deal with her in the morning and the afternoon. I tried to avoid her like the plague as much as possible.

Then one day all of that changed.

Lynn was sitting behind my brother on the bus. For whatever reason that I don’t remember, Lynn reached over the top of the seat and smacked my brother upside his head.

That set me off big time.

I do remember adrenalin kicking in and me being across the aisle jumping across to my brother reaching over the seat and hitting her. I was so mad and I had enough of her antics.

After that, Lynn was kicked off the bus. The bus driver did not write me up either. Lynn avoided me, like the plague.

 

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10 Reasons to Consider Having Your Own Hydraulic Lift

Until I started working on my own vehicles I thought it was a frivolous thing for an individual to have their own hydraulic lift. After using my best friends time and time again it is amazing the time and money you save by having your own lift:

1) Having your own lift means you can change your own oil and save $$$. Imagine saving at least $10 each time you change your oil and not having to wait in line!

2) Rotate your own tires

3) Make repairs standing up instead of laying on the ground

4) Having a lift can be safer than having your vehicle on mere jack stands. Every so often there is a story in the news where a car on jack stands has slipped off, pinning a person underneath.

5) Work on your brakes standing up instead of kneeling or sitting down on the ground

6) Change your own shocks or struts

7) You can freely inspect the under carriage

8) Save your back instead of hunching over on cars. My best friend recently had to work on his 91 Eagle Talon and having it on the lift he said saved him from bending over and his back becoming stiff. He was able to lift the car to a comfortable level.

9) Do maintenance on your transmission: change the fluid and/or the filter standing up

10) Watch how components are working. Every once in awhile one of our vehicles may have an issue (popping noise, clanking metal, something leaking, squeaking…) That may require one of us watching things move (or possibly not).

 

Ultimately a lift can save you time not having to go to the mechanic shop and wait until a bay becomes available and/or having to pay a shop to look at your vehicle or change your oil, transmission fluid, or differential gear oil. You can rotate your own tires, work on brakes at eye level too. There are some drawbacks to having one such as routine maintenance, making sure components are lubricated, you have to have a building big enough to set one up; putting it together, family and friends taking advantage of you because you have a lift; people treating you like a mechanic shop. With some cars it requires you to get on your knees to position the arms and pads in the correct location; sometimes you have to change out the adapters, depending on the height of the vehicle. On occasion we have helped family and friends do work on their transmission (like replacing it), changing out the transfer case or replacing a fuel pump. Just today my best friend changed out my broken motor mounts on my 2000 VW Passat and claimed it was just as easy as replacing them in our Jeep Cherokees. He says it was easy thanks in part to having the lift.

Overall though, you can work on your own vehicle anytime, take a break anytime you want. Having a lift allows you to get to know your vehicle. The hydraulic lifts really are not that expensive, my best friend’s dad got his at harbor freight about eight years ago for a very reasonable price. With all the vehicle repairs and maintenance we have done using the lift, it has paid for it self over and over again .

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How to Save Money on Car Repairs

One of the first things I wanted to do at 16 was learn as much as I could about car maintenance and how to do the basic things: check the oil, change the oil, flush the radiator, change a tire…etc. When I started to have common issues with my first car (fuel pump quitting, starter dying, timing belt going) the cost of those repairs really ate at me.

After dealing with mechanics who took advantage of me and gouged me with costly repairs I made a vow to myself I would find a vehicle I could do most of the maintenance and repairs myself. Five years ago I bought a 1992 Jeep Cherokee Sport off Ebay. My best friend aka the Jeep Guru has helped guide me through a lot of the repairs I have done.

Last Fall I ended up with the project of a lifetime: rebuild my mom’s 1993 Jeep Cherokee Country that had a fire in the engine compartment. While the engine was not injured in the fire, most of the damage was on the drivers side that included the air box, computer, brake booster & cylinder, radiator, intake manifold, valve cover, power steering pump and the steering box.  My mom wanted the Jeep to be salvaged and I wanted that and her to save money in the process.

We used donor Jeep parts from an XJ we have from a friend, parts from an XJ that was at my brother’s work in TX, An XJ off roading friend from KY, Ebay, new parts from O’Reilly Auto, Advance Auto and Crown Automotive, which we are a dealer of. I spent a great deal of time writing an entire list of the parts needed to complete the project as well as doing price research.

If you would like to save money on repairs:

1) Find out if your automobile has a forum- there are plenty of forums out there for Jeep Cherokee’s (XJ’s). I found forums for my recently acquired 2000 VW Passat GLS, before I purchased the car off Ebay. I was able to learn about many of the common issues, how to take care of them myself as well as save a lot of money.

2) If you can buy used parts and save money go that route. Some parts are not meant to be purchased used and often times you will learn this through the forums. Most parts though you should be able to find at a junk yard, Ebay or through the forums through trades or purchases with transactions through PayPal.

3)Buy a service manual. Most auto parts stores sell service manuals whether they are Haynes or Chilton. Some book stores that sell new or used may have them as well. If all else fails, then definitely google and some forums may have a PDF version of a service manual for your vehicle. Many times Ebay may have sellers who have CD’s or downloads (just review feedback before making a transaction). Learn as much as you can about your vehicle and repairs.

4) If you feel comfortable working on your own vehicle or you know someone who would be willing to assist you or help do the work then go for it. If not then ask your mechanic if they are will to put on a part that you purchased.

5) Ask your mechanic if you can get a discount if you pay cash for repairs. I recently had to have a snub motor mount put on my car. Because I paid in cash, the mechanic knocked off $23! Before you go to pick up your vehicle make sure you ask.

6) Do NOT let family or friends deter you about your vehicle and repairs. Just because certain vehicles have a reputation does not mean they are lemons or jalopies. Go get involved in a forum about your vehicle, learn from the owners! They are the ones who will reassure you on things that most people would panic over. They are the ones who will direct you to places to purchase parts at reasonable costs, how to make repairs yourself and much more.

7) Find out if your forum has people in your area who work on vehicles like yours. Some forums will have a list of people with similar vehicles who work on the vehicles themselves for reasonable costs.

8) Check engine light is on? Don’t panic, take your vehicle to AutoZone where they will check the codes and print them out for you. Google check engine light codes for your vehicle OR if you are involved in a forum check and see if they have all the info for you. Often times they will.

 

I can recall so many times I have had family and friends question me on having my Jeep and now on my VW Passat, including my brother who is an ASE certified mechanic. What they fail to understand is how much dedication I have put in to learning all I can about my vehicles. I spend countless hours doing research, asking questions on forums and learning about similar issues that others have experienced. This has helped me from feeling unnecessary panic when something goes awry.

Before I purchased my Passat, I was aware that the ABS light was on. Now many people would go into absolute panic if that light was on in their vehicle. Because I had previously assisted a friend in repairing their vehicle that had a similar issue, I knew it was not a big deal. The forum had plenty of discussion on this issue and most would tell you it is NOT a big deal. In fact, many of them recommended a specific person who had rebuilt their ABS modules for a huge fraction of what a professional mechanic shop would charge to replace it with a new one that would in time fail just as the original one has!!! Why pay $600, $700, $800 or even $1,000 to have a new ABS module installed with the same issue as the original? What would it be like to pay someone who was fed up with the company who builds most of the ABS modules for  millions of automobiles to just rebuild and make your ABS module stronger for a mere $100??? Check out http://www.cheapabs.com/ if you are serious about saving money.

Recently my CEL (Check Engine Light) came on in my VW.  Thanks to spending time on the PassatWorld.com forum, I learned that as long as the CEL was not flashing it was not anything serious. And when I had the codes pulled at AutoZone, I learned they were very minor codes. In fact, they were extremely common, very minor ones.

 

Do your research and do not leave it up to others to do it for you. Know your vehicle so you are not the one taken advantage of. Be aware of what the parts cost and learn how long it truly takes to do a repair so you are not taken by others. Learning as much as you can will save you money, time and your sanity in the long run.