Author: Jenn

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Flying Southwest Airlines

Anytime someone is considering flying and they are looking for the best deal the first thing I recommend is Southwest Airlines. This is especially true when it comes to unaccompanied children. When my brother and I were kids anytime we had to fly it was with Southwest. Then when I had to make the decision to have my kids fly back from their grandpa’s house in Texas, I did not hesitate getting tickets for them.

The last week of October I had to make a quick trip to Texas. Since it was during the week I did have to fly out of my local airport which does not have Southwest, but I knew on my way back home I would definitely be using them. I was able to make reservations two days prior to leaving out and I still got a great price.

I will admit that flying out of other Airline carriers was not the best choice. Their planes were smaller and you couldn’t stand up on the airplane without bonking your head. Plus you have to pay for luggage and have an assigned seat, which someone took mine. I also had to walk out on the tarmac to get to the plane, something I had never done in my life.

I had never flown into Atlanta on Southwest since it has only been several months since they started service into Atlanta. Typically I would fly to Nashville or Birmingham. Why I chose Atlanta this time is that it is the closest to home by an hour.

Using Southwest was a very easy process at least at Houston Hobby. Checking in the person at the counter was very friendly and helpful. When we were in the process of boarding the plane all the Southwest employees were very warm and friendly. My grandfather chose to sit by the wing which is also where the emergency exits were. One of the flight attendants asked him as well as myself if we were willing to be the ones to open the emergency exits should there be an emergency. As we were preparing to fly to Atlanta, another flight attendant came and stood in the mid section to do their routine demonstrations of the seat belts, emergency exits, oxygen masks and the like.

Overall I will say the employees of Southwest were much more pleasant and friendly than the other airlines we flew on days before. I am one to first and foremost recommend Southwest not just because the first two bags fly free, but that they are typically less expensive and have great service. Because of that I have trusted them to fly my kids back home and I also recommend Southwest to other families who have to fly children unaccompanied to destinations. If you are looking for reasonable flights with great service to get you from point A to point B then I recommend Southwest.

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Breastfeeding Baby Doll for Children

As a mom of 3 who breastfed, I advocate for moms to seriously consider breastfeeding their children because there are so many wonderful benefits. I also believe it is important for families as they prepare for the arrival of a new baby to share things with their children including how mommy will feed their sibling.

I recently came across and article about a Breastfeeding Baby Doll for Children called “The Breast Milk Baby Doll” that has stirred up a lot of controversy. Most retail stores in the US refuse to have it on their shelves not because of the controversy itself but that it would potentially upset the customers. According to the information I have come across, this doll has been popular in Europe since breastfeeding seems to be more open and accepted there.

I do see breastfeeding as a touchy subject here in the US and to introduce a Breastfeeding Baby Doll only adds fuel to the fire, especially when it involves children. There are some who advocate for breastfeeding while others advocate for formula. Breastfeeding is not exactly widely accepted. We still have issues with businesses, the workplace and other public places who shun breastfeeding as if the breast were solely a sexual instrument and should not be accessible unless one is in the comfort of their own home. I do believe that this has lead to women choosing not to breastfeed because they are self conscious about others opinions on it.

 With that being said, as a mom I see it both ways. I see it as a great tool for mature children who are are curious and can understand things in their environment. I also see it though as potentially pushing a mature issue onto children who are not ready for it. However, I believe it should be given the opportunity to be offered in stores such one that would sell baby items so a soon to be mom can share with her children what she will be doing to feed their sibling. This would be a way for a mom to show that breasts are NOT a sexual instrument but it is an important part of the body that helps feed a new/small baby until they can eat baby food.

Would I have bought this doll when my daughter was smaller? Probably not. For one the price is astounding at $89. Another reason is that my daughter was not much into dolls except when she was under the age of 3. She is primarily a tomboy.

If I had a child who had shown interest in the doll I would probably consider it. I believe it is ultimately up to the child if this is something that interests them. Now I do believe this would be a useful tool for facilities that teach soon to be parents about breastfeeding and how to position them, etc.

To sum it up, there should not be so much controversy over this doll. I believe it is mostly about being self conscious, treating the breast as a sex object and shame. It is an unfortunate stigma that hinders the minds of people about something that is an important part of life that has potential health benefits for both the mother and child. Having a doll to help explain it to a curious child can be a beneficial part of a child’s development as it teaches them that breasts can have an important role in life when they are older.  It is better than a child growing up only being taught that breasts are viewed as a sex object.

 

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Losing a Loved One

This past Wednesday I experienced something I had hoped would not happen for at least another ten years, when I would be in my mid 40’s. An aunt whom I was close to, who was like a second mother to me passed away suddenly. Late last week she was hospitalized to have a procedure done to open up her arteries though the doctors had said it would be risky as her arteries were 99% blocked. In fact, this past summer when I was in TX visiting and having a family vacation she told me they were clogged yet the doctor had not done anything yet.

So when she was in the hospital this past week she had a mini stroke and on Monday afternoon after having started the procedure to open the arteries up she had a massive stroke. Part of the plaque had broken away causing major brain damage resulting in eventual death.

Once I found out the situation I wanted to get there as soon as possible to say my goodbyes. But, that did not happen.

The earliest flight I could get was about eight hours after she passed away. I had no idea though that she had passed on until I arrived at the airport in Houston. I had to also wait to break the news to my dad about an hour later. In the meantime I was sad, in fact, I was devastated.

It has been four days since she passed away and life is still numb. Being in TX was a fog because I kept thinking I need to call my aunt to tell her I was there until I came back to reality briefly knowing she was the reason I was there.

I dreaded visitation. I had told some of my family members I wasn’t ready for this. I broke down on shoulders of family. It hurt so bad and still does. My aunt meant so much to me. She and my uncle raised my brother and I early in our childhood after their three children were grown. They had done so much for us and even put up with our childhood issues even into teenage years. All I could remember were the things my aunt had done for me. Making the pallets to sleep on at night, her tucking me in, sitting and talking to me, cuddling next to her while watching tv in the evenings. She would make my baths, wash my hair while I laid on the counter in the kitchen. She would mark my height on the post on the back porch. When I graduated from high school in TN she came up with my dad, granny and brother. Before my first daughter was born she bought the baby bed which I still have.

It helped to talk to certain people though. My cousin Tony who has always been known as the tough person was breaking down crying. After hugging him he told me that she treated me as if I was one of her own. That meant so much to me. I finally toughened myself up to go to my Uncle who had a stroke about a year ago and thanked him and Aunt Marie for taking care of me, raising me. It was touching when he smiled and said I Love You.

I finally with the help of my cousin Tony’s wife Wanda, who used to live behind my Aunt and Uncle many years ago went to my Aunts casket and just broke down and cried. I touched my Aunt’s wrist and hand brushing my hand across. I didn’t want to say goodbye.

The day of her visitation had froze about five feet from her casket. I turned around and sat on the first pew and just poured my eyes out. I seen some of my aunts friends and spent time with other people before mustering up enough strength to pay my respects.

The next day after her funeral everyone got to say one last goodbye. I went up and poured my eyes out again. It hurt enough to watch my uncle break down and cry.

I kept telling myself I shouldn’t be here. I should be at home spending time with my kids and instead I am forced to do something I didn’t ask or want to do.

In the funeral procession there had to have been about 150-200 vehicles. We passed by the West Galveston County precinct building where voting was taking place. My aunt was involved with working the elections until this last time. As we went by there were three women who had worked with her who were crying and waving at everyone as they passed by. It was very touching.

The cemetery service was very brief yet it hit me very hard when the pastor of her church, St. John’s Lutheran had picked up some of the dirt and spread it out saying ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Those things really sealed everything.

Though the tears continue to flow, I still have periods of time when I am content or angry about it all. Today I headed back home to TN. Just as the plane left the ground the tears flowed a little more. I still had times I would just randomly cry when something would remind me of my aunt.

I tried walking in my best friends woods only to see the beauty of the fall and break down. I know the tears will continue to flow which is ok. I know I will have times I will be angry and that is ok. I know it will take time to recover which is totally up to me. I have to allow myself to go through the grieving process on my own.

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Skype on iPhone

Before starting the summer 2012 adventure of working as a checkpoint worker with The Great Race I worked on a plan on how I would communicate with friends, family and especially my kids once I went into Canada. Our adventure started in Traverse City, MI and went around the Great Lakes in Canada and back into the US in New York before ending in Dearborn, MI.  After looking at a plan for my Verizon iPhone 4 as well as some prepaid phones (as the sales rep at Verizon suggested) I decided I would try downloading the Skype app for the iPhone and try it.

I also added $10 worth of credit to my account

Once into Canada and settled into the hotels I would connect to the hotel wi-fi to make a phone call. Majority of the time the phone calls went through and were clear. There were a few times the calls were dropped which skype would say it was due to a weak wi-fi signal. Usually I would have at least three bars and still received that message. Sometimes there was a delay during the conversations but overall, I was very, very pleased and in fact thankful I was able to talk to my loved ones back in the U.S. for a very reasonable price.

There is a drawback though when you do call someone: your phone number does not show up on their caller ID. So, if you know you are going to use Skype, let your family and friends know ahead of time that an odd number may call  them.

After spending nearly four days in Canada and making about 15 phone calls I ended up with approximately a $4.90 credit.

If you know you will be going out of the country, have an iPhone or another smartphone and you know you will have access to wi-fi I highly recommend using skype. While it is not perfect, it is the best thing to use when you want to talk to those who are important in your life.

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The Stigma of Public Assistance: Coming from A Beneficiary

Ever know someone receiving public assistance that is working, going to school, volunteering or all of the previous? The stigma in America is that most people on public assistance are lazy, moochers, lack motivation and expect a handout. But is that really the case?

We have many people receiving public assistance such as Food Stamps (aka SNAP benefits) that just a few years ago would have never imagined they would be in the position to be in need of assistance. Many middle class families have lost their jobs, their homes, their cars, their livelihood. Yet, Americans continue to voice their harsh, close minded opinions of people on public assistance.

Chances are, most Americans have never set foot in a public housing project, subsidized apartment complex or in the home of a family who has fell on hard times and possess a SNAP card.

One inspiring single mom, I will refer to as Jenn is tired of the stigma associated with being a SNAP beneficiary. Jenn says that most of the time the issue has been brought up on Facebook, which has at times resulted in her deactivating her account because close friends and family who know her will stir up the issue anyways even though they know people like her who have worked hard towards being independent.

Ten years ago Jenn would have never imagined herself being on what was then, Food Stamps. She was a married, stay at home mom of two children, a girl and a boy, living the American Dream. Jenn & her family lived in a middle class neighborhood in a tri-level house, fenced in backyard with a swing set and two dogs.

In 2004, that American Dream came to crashing end. Her now ex-husband lost his job of 11 years in part because he had recently been diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder, severe depression. Jenn took over the reigns and worked two jobs for about six months before friends and family pleaded with her to change direction in her life and focus on taking better care of herself and her two young children. It was a hard pill to swallow with her because she had worked hard to keep her family together and to build something she had never had yet always dreamed of.

Her now ex-husband had been quite emotionally, mentally abusive for a time. He was an alcoholic as well as an on and off again drug addict on top of his recent diagnosis of Bi-Polar disorder. The only way Jenn could recover from the years of turmoil was to break away and start over.

Fast forward to today. Jenn has accomplished a lot although she feels at times discouraged. For the last two years she and her oldest son and just recently, her daughter (her oldest child) has been living in a subsidized apartment complex. She says that just living where she is at also has a stigma attached to it, mostly because of past issues which she says have been mostly eliminated thanks in part to an apartment manager who has aggressively changed things.

In late 2004 Jenn lost her job because her boss chose to take advantage of the fact he could fire employees without any reason, which was devastating to her family. However, she was able to receive unemployment assistance.

A year later, Jenn gave birth to another son, Hunter. By then Jenn had been forced to move into public housing. At that point she felt like she had hit rock bottom. But Jenn had plans to make it a temporary thing. In January 2006 she started classes at her local community college, full time. When she realized that dependable child care was a major issue during her first semester in college, she took advantage of online courses offered through her college. Every semester Jenn was a full time student. Several semesters she made the honor roll, something she had never done in middle or high school.

A year and a half later, Jenn transferred to a 4-year university, still taking courses online. After a year and a half of having challenges working with her advisor, she once again transferred to another 4 year university where she and her oldest son also moved to, 100 miles away from friends and family. That was something Jenn had never done in her life.

See, prior to her second transfer, Jenn HAD a job that last for nine months. It unfortunately was eliminated because of the economy. Jenn’s ex husband had also quit paying child support, so Jenn was forced to pack up her belongings and put most of it in storage and move to her mom and step dad’s home. There, Jenn and her boys were forced to sleep on the front porch even when the weather got down to 25 degrees. Many nights Jenn shed tears of discouragement and frustration. During the day though, Jenn persevered, determined she would finish college.

What gave her a boost was being granted housing from the second 4 yr university she transferred to.

In May 2010, Jenn graduated from college. Her hopes had been that she would have a job soon after graduating college to avoid having to move back home and possibly move back in with her family. After applying to 50+ jobs around graduation time, she came to the realization she would have to go back home.

Jenn was extremely discouraged. Here she had a piece of paper that she had worked very hard for and yet that paper could not get her a decent paying job to get her on her feet and off of public assistance. Even back at home, Jenn continued to apply to jobs and she got two interviews. One though wanted to pay her a mere $.50 more an hour than a high school graduate. Her best friend created a budget for her and determined if she took the job she would be worse off than her current situation. The other job chose someone else.

Instead of giving in, Jenn kept on trying, even applying to places like Toys R Us and fast food restaurants to no avail. Finally Jenn decided she would look into going to grad school. Jenn found an online grad school that she could start soon after her application and financial aid paperwork was completed. She felt it was better than sitting around doing nothing.

Jenn has continued to work hard in grad school and will be completing her Masters in June 2013.

She is still living in a subsidized apartment complex with hopes that sometime next year she will be gainfully employed and living a better place for her family. Meanwhile she and her family live off of her student loan disbursements and any money she earns doing odd jobs or errands for friends and family.  In the meantime, Jenn is not sitting down feeling sorry for herself.

She has been a band booster president for one of her children’s school bands, she has been a room mom, co-room mom, a parent volunteer, chaperone, concession worker, fall festival booth worker at all three of her kids’ schools. On the adult level, Jenn joined a community service organization two years ago to gain experience but also to spend time with her 86 year old grandfather who has been a member for nearly 40 years.

Jenn has been secretary of the club, going on her third year. Last year she was also asked to be the Lt. Governor for the middle and high school clubs.

The one thing though that stays with Jenn is the stigma that beneficiaries of public assistance do nothing to better themselves. She has gotten to the point she doesn’t like to go grocery shopping although she has some preference to where she goes based on the cashiers attitudes towards customers. Jenn says that many cashiers, especially the young ones usually change their attitude towards her when she tells them she will be using her food stamp card. Many times she has wanted to speak out, but because of her quiet nature she typically walks away saying nothing.

Jenn figures one day it will happen, that she will be in a place to defend herself. She says that she figures most of the time she has more education than the cashiers so it just goes to show their education obviously hasn’t taught them to be more open minded.

In about six months Jenn will be finishing up her last course of her grad school which helps her stay focused. Her hope is that through sharing her story, people will step back and see that there are some people who are making a difference, who are being productive and setting goals to get off of public assistance. Perhaps those who choose to stigmatize will have a change of heart and realize that there are people who are deserving.