Category: Life Lessons

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Ed McMann, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson

Celebrity deaths and the meaning of life

This week three major icons of my youth have passed away. Ed McMann, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson.

I have learned that events like this have a deeper meaning in life. Each death represents loosing a part of my self. I am looking into what each of these represent to me.

I mostly remember Ed McMann as being the guy with the big checks from Publisher’s Clearing House. I guess to me he represents the quest for easy money. Money from winning a sweepstakes rather than earning if by creating and delivering value. This part of me needed to die to help me learn how to make money. If I won money randomly, I would not know how to make more and would still be stuck in a scarcity mentality.

I most fondly remember Farrah Fawcett as the pin up girl. Her perky posters were every where during my pubescent years. And the popular girls copied her hair style. To me she represented the girls who were totally out of reach. My childish ideas of relationships made me think the only way to attract a girl like that was to have fame or fortune or both. This was the idea pushed on my by the marketers who used her photo to sell their products. “Buy our widgets and have a shot at this girl.” Now, I know that no woman is out of my league. People are just people and we all have the same basic needs and desires. It is simply a matter of generating attraction and has nothing to do with possessions or position.

I was never really a fan of Michael Jackson and I was somewhat surprised at how popular he was. I remember him as part of the Jackson Five. I never paid much attention to him when he painted his face to look like a clown. I guess that fact that he had his own amusement park meant that he never really grew up. He really just wanted to be a kid. And that is how I most fondly remember him: The little spunky kid in the Jackson Five upstaging his older brothers.

Combined, these deaths all seem to represent the loss of part of my youth. Maybe it is time to let go of some of the childish ideas that have been holding back my progress. I need to let go of the idea that some things are out of my reach. I need a bigger vision for my business. No one is going to bring a big check to my door; I have to go create my own. There is nothing wrong with my being a kid at heart as long as I realize I am also capable of making my own decisions and accepting responsibility for my own actions.

All week long, I have had the son Barracuda by Heart running through my head. I read today where that song was written in response to their manager trying to force the band to go in a direction that did not feel right to them. I think that is what is happening in my business. I have to choose the path that feels right to my heart. I am trusting that the money will come. Maybe not in the form of Ed McMann bringing me a big check, but it will come.

I may have to make some side trips along the way, but I will always be pursuing my true path. Having multiple streams of income is a good concept to work with as I do tend to get bored with doing the same thing all the time. So for now, I plan to continue building a safety training program, giving advice on Jeep repair, learning about dog behavior and studying metaphysics. Somehow, they all will fit together.

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Limiting Beliefs

While we were off roading in Harlan, Ky this weekend we met some very interesting other people on the trails.

It was interesting to see how their beliefs about what they were capable of effected their results.

On the Mason Jar trail we met three different groups. The first group we encountered had very nicely built rigs. They all had bead lock wheels and very large tires. They all had exo cages and big axles. We expected them to easily run up the trail that we had run before in our XJs.

However, they seemed to have lots of trouble. The first rig had an electrical failure before the first rock. The second one had a bit of trouble getting over the first few rock in the entrance but came to complete stop at the second set of rocks. We waited a long time to see how he got over. He was pulling winch line when we left but it did not seem like he was going to get over even with the winch.

We left to try again the next morning.

Based on what I saw there, I was a little worried about whether we could make it at all. But I was committed to giving it my best shot.

Adam and Neal made it in just fine and after some work at finding the right line made it over the second set of rocks just fine. See the video of Neal here.

After seeing the XJs make it over, I once again believed I could do it also. I knew that I had expert spotting and caching from my friends. I also knew if all else failed, I had my winch.

With a little spotting from Jim, I made the first rock easily even using what Jim called “a less than optimum line.”

When I got to the second set of rocks that had stopped the buggy on 37 inch tires and bead locks, I trusted my spotters and after some maneuvering to get properly lined up, I was able to hope my Jeep right up on the rocks. My 33″ Buckshots scrambled for traction and then pulled the back of my Jeep right up the rock. Then I scooted up the muddy hill afterwards. My belief in my abilities grew quite a but after that climb.

Another group that we met along the trail really impressed me. I don’t really know the best term to describe them. Lets just call them old codgers. These two Wranglers were piloted by some guys with some miles on them. One of them seemed to be a bit hard of hearing because when Neal told him he could go around us he laughed and said he though we called him a “gourd head.” They were each accompanied by a female of similar vintage in the passenger seat.

What struck me was that they were sprinting up and down the rock as fast as the youngest and fittest of our group. They certainly had not limiting beliefs about their age.

When it came time to watch them drive their their rigs, they really impressed me. They had no doubt at all that they could make the climb. They obviously had years of experience and made the climb look easy.

They certainly were not ready for a rocking chair in a retirement home. They were playing and having a great time. I hope to be doing that when I get their age.

Charles Filmore suggested that the way to stay young was to stop thinking old thoughts. I did not see any evidence of old thoughts among that group.

Many times we limit our progress due to our beliefs. Today I am working on a proposal for a client that at fist I did not see anyway I could do. But after thinking about this weekend off road, I decided to think differently. I have emailed the client to see if there are options that will make it possible for me to fulfil his specs with the resources I have at hand.

I am setting larger goals. I am doubting my limits instead of my abilities. I am moving forward to face even bigger obstacles.

“If you can do one thing you thought was utterly impossible, it causes you to rethink your beliefs.” Tony Robbins

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Teamwork

Lessons from off the road

Teamwork

One of the most valuable lessons I have learned from the sport of off road driving is teamwork. I have seen many examples of how people working together can accomplish so much more than people competing.

I did not see much if any teamwork in the sport of autocross racing. I guess there is a very good reason why SCCA calls their series Solo racing. It was very much a every man for himself sport. My competitors were very secretive about what tire pressures worked for them and I even heard them give false and misleading information to beginners.

Road rally taught me a little more about team work. There was the interrelationship between the driver and co driver that was critical to the success of a rally team. My navigator, Jeff Ballinger was fantastic at dong the math and complex mental gymnastics necessary to keep us on time and recover from my inevitable mistakes. We worked very well together as evidenced by the trophies in my collection.

Where the teamwork concept failed in Road rally was in the cut throat competition between teams. Often Jeff and I would win a rally on the road and then loose the rally in claims after the event. I saw many teams use complex arguments that were not beneficial to the sport just to win a single event. They caused complex rules to be written and pushed a lot of fun out of the sport for Jeff and me. I suspect the drop in participation in the sport overall may be the result of this win at all cost mentality.

RallyCross and Rally racing taught me a bit more about team work. There seemed to be more a spirit of friendly competition in the events I attended. In the service areas, competing teams shared tools and parts with one another. They swapped driving and navigation tips openly. There was still a spirit of fierce competition, but the winners really only wanted to beat the people who were running at their best. Beating a team with a broken car did not mean as much as winning when the competitor was at his best too.

The sport of off road driving has been a very different experience for me. First of all, it is not competitive. There are no points or trophies, just bragging rights for who got over the rocks. There is a group spirit that wants every one to succeed.

The first thing I observed when I met the group that I go with on the side of a trail at Windrock was the way every one pitched in to help someone fix an electrical problem with his Jeep. Every one there offered tools, advice and spare parts to assist in getting him back on the trail.

Later that day when some one rolled his Jeep, again the group worked together to quickly and safely recover his Jeep from a precarious situation. Back at camp the mood was the same as every one pitched in to make the dinner and campfire circle as pleasant as possible for every one. Including me who they had just met.

On one trail in Ky, there was no real safe way for us to enter the trail. Maybe one or two of our vehicles were capable of climbing the big rock at the entrance, but most were not. Working together we developed a plan to use straps to stabilize the vehicles on an off camber bypass. Each driver had to trust the group and his spotter to keep his truck balanced on the tricky maneuver. Thanks to excellent teamwork, everyone made it onto the trail safely and got to enjoy the trip.

Sadly not everyone who has attended these trips has been a team player. However, when a disruptive element has been introduced, the group leaders have taken action to ensure that those who do not play well with others are not invited back. Such action protects the integrity of the group and makes it more fun for every one.

While the group I normally wheel with has become very close through the years I have observed that compete strangers often work together for the good of all when off road. On one recent trip we met some people who were entering the woods at the same time as us. We banded together. As the day progressed our group grew from four trucks to six or eight as we exited the woods in the dark. We all worked together to tug, winch, spot and guide each other through the challenging conditions.

I have learned far more about teamwork and building a strong working relationship with others from off roading than I ever have in any of the corporate teamwork classes I have attended. Off road, people quickly adapt to the challenge of getting every one through the obstacles. They share resources and skills to make sure every one is successful. Business could learn a lot by taking their work teams off road.

If your business or volunteer organization could benefit by working better together, let me talk to them. I will be happy to share what I have learned off the road to help you improve your organization.

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Commitment

Life Lessons from Off the Road

Commitment

Last weekend I was riding in my son Scott’s Jeep. He was heading into a big mud puddle of unknown depth. Naturally he was very anxious about driving through the puddle as we were in his very nice XJ Wagoneer and we were alone.

As he entered the puddle to check the depth and bottom conditions he felt it start get squishy. I realized that his indecision was about to get us stuck.

It was at this moment that I realized an important lesson in life. When you are heading to any obstacle in life, you need to make a decision and commit to it. Either you go into the puddle committed to get to the other side no matter what or don’t go in at all.

Approaching a puddle of unknown depth with too much speed can be disastrous as well. One of my wheeling partners demonstrated this technique in Harlan, Ky once. However, in his case, he had plenty of support to get his Jeep out of the water and running again after he sucked water into his engine.

When attacking any obstacle in life you must approach with enough momentum to carry you safely through. However, you must also use good judgment so that you don’t overshoot your target or incur damage from proceeding too fast.

When I was building my first race car for autocrossing, I was very disappointed to learn that a suspension setup that was good for autocrossing made the car way too twitchy to enjoy on the street. If I wanted to build a competitive car for racing, it was going to have to be trailered to the track. It would get very little use between races. I was going to have to make a huge commitment to build the car I wanted to race.

Rally racing demanded an even greater commitment. Not only did my Jeep have to have a roll cage and lots of other safety features that rendered it useless for street driving, I could not make the modifications I wanted to make due to class rule restrictions. I also had to get a reliable tow vehicle that would haul a whole race team across the country.

Travel time alone amounted to a huge commitment with rally racing. Not to mention the ever increasing entry fees. The need to buy a head and neck restraint was a bigger commitment than I was willing to make since two of them would have cost more than the race car itself.

Making the commitment to convert my race Jeep into an off road Jeep was not easy for me. However, once I made the commitment, I have been able to enjoy my investment much more than I ever thought possible.

Click here to read about how the RallyJeep was converted to Scuffy the off road Jeep.

When driving off road, you have to be committed to getting through no matter what. You have to be committed to allowing for body damage. If you have a vehicle you are not willing to dent, don’t take it off road. Dents and scrapes are part of the game. That is why I built Scuffy, because I was not willing to bang up my daily driver.

Having a dedicated off road truck makes the commitment much easier. Dents and scratches are seen as battle scars or marks of honor rather than degrading like they are on a street car.

If you approach an obstacle without commitment, you are more likely to fail. To get up a step muddy hill, for example, you have to approach the bottom with enough speed to generate momentum needed to carry you to the top. You can’t timidly ease into it and then accelerate as you feel better about the climb. Trying to power over the top is a good way to end up on your top as I saw at the extreme rock crawling competition.

The pro rock crawlers call it a deceleration climb. They commit to the climb, generate momentum and then use just enough power to the wheels to keep the truck climbing without spinning or tipping it backwards.

I also saw how commitment was needed on the descents. Those who crawled up to the absolute edge and tried to ease over were pitched sideways as one tire lost traction before the other. They ended up cart wheeling down the cliff. Those who committed to the fall were able to travel straight down and land on their suspension to absorb the bumps and bangs and drive off the course.

I often like to walk a trail before I commit to run it. This helps me assess the obstacles and help me decide if my truck and skills are sufficient to the task. Knowing the skills of those with me also helps me know what level of commitment I am willing to make.

The Mason Jar trail in Harlan, Ky requires a great deal of commitment just to enter the trail. You either have to cross a house sized boulder or maneuver through a narrow off camber bypass. Once past these, there is no good way to turn around, you are committed to running the trail.

In life we are faced with obstacles all the time. If we stay timid and try to avoid any damage, we will be stuck in the safe and boring ways of doing things. If we want to seek adventure and riches, we have to be willing to accept a few bumps and dents along the way. Those who are not willing to make a commitment and be willing to suffer the potential consequences will have to be content to stand back and watch the other more adventurous people reap their rewards.

Anyone who has ever achieved a goal has had to take a risk and make a commitment. Commitment keeps you moving toward your goal despite the consequences. Just like getting to the other side of a mud puddle, if you want to make it through a sticky situation in life or business, you have to begin with momentum.

In life, like off road, commitment means having the momentum to carry through. You may get some dents and scrapes along the way, but if you have made the commitment to achieve your goal, the journey will be just as exciting as actually achieving the goal.

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Goodbye to Zelda

Zelda the cat in the grass
Zelda the cat in the grass
I have never really been a cat person. In fact when I was younger I was allergic to cat and would break out in red whelps whenever I was exposed to cat hair.

I am much more of a dog guy. I love my big lovable mutt Smash. We love to romp in the woods together and enjoy the outdoors.

This cat however, won me over with her unconditional love. She would always rub against me every time I was in range. She would walk a figure eight between my legs. I was always tripping over her in the mornings as she refused to get out from under my feet.

At night her favorite place to sleep was on top of me. If I lay on my side she would be on my hip. If I had an itch under the covers, she would pounce on my hand. She had a very loud and soothing purr that would always boost my mood as she lay beside or on top of me in the bed.

She was a little gray cat that my son rescued from the animal shelter. She had been with us less than a year. I did not realize how much I had grown attached to her until this weekend when my son found her dead in the yard. Apparently she had been killed by a dog bite.

I try to think of the happy times when I would pick her up and cuddle her and tell her that she does not even notice that I don’t like cats. She never did notice. She just cuddled and purred to me.

I had never known a cat to purr so loudly or so often. Her purr would vibrate the whole bed when she lay beside me. She was such a sweet and loving animal.

I am trying to make sense of her death by looking at things metaphysically. I do remember one day recently thinking that if she never purred like that to me again I would feel really sad. That was an accurate prediction. I am very sad that I will never feel her purr for me again.

I know that her death means there is some part of me that has died or that I think needs to die. I am looking for that part.

For now I am going to try to think about what she taught me about love. She loved me and showed me affection even thought I did not like cats. She won me over with her love and purring. I never even minded that she would nip at my legs in the morning after I got out of the shower. She was a very loving little spirit. I guess her job here was done. But I miss her.