Twilight the movie

Twilight movie review

I finally relented to the pressure of my female friends and watched the movie Twilight. They have all been raving about it so in order to keep up with the conversations, I watched the movie.

In case you have not heard this movie is about a 300 year old vampire who pretends to be 17. Presumably so he can hang out with high school girls. Oh and he is a vegetarian vampire so he only drinks soy blood or something like that.

He has the ability to read minds so he always knows what everyone is thinking. He has a foster family that includes two incredibly hot foster sisters who ride around in a four door Jeep Wrangler. At least they have good taste in cars.

Anyway the new kid in town becomes inexplicably popular with all the guys wanting to invite her to prom even though she is painfully shy and clumsy. She drives around in an old Chevy pickup that was built for her by her childhood Indian boyfriend that is probably a werewolf. At least it has new tires. Police chief dad bought them for her so she would be safe. That and the pepper spray.

Anyway the plot of the movie revolves around the 300 year old vampire falling completely head over heals in love with the 17 year old jail bait. He even takes her home to meet foster mom and dad. They all agree that she smells tasty.

They do all live in a really cool house. I guess several hundred years of wise investments pays for something.

He even invites his new girl friend over for a friendly game of backyard baseball. Here we meet the other not so vegetarian vampires when they help recover a lost baseball.

One of the animal instinct vampires suddenly takes an interest in the snack food i.e. the 17 year old clumsy chick. Inexplicably the animal vampire risks certain death just to get a taste of the girl.

So begins the epic battle scene of the movie. The girl is whisked away by the vegetarian vampire clan to supposed safety in her mother’s home town. Who would have thought that the resourceful animal vampire using only there animal instincts would track down her mother’s home. Not to mention why they are so interested in traveling long distances just to get a snack when there were plenty of other much easier to devour food sources along the way.

So the animal vampire uses her mother’s phone to set up a meeting with the girl. There is the obligatory big fight scene where they all show off their superhuman strength and the animal vampire is finally out numbered and killed by the “good” vampires. But not before he gets a little taste of his target. The pedophile vampire then has to steel his will and suck out only the infected blood and not the yummy life supporting blood. Naturally his great love overcomes his better instincts and he saves the girl’s life but does not turn her in to a monster.

All is well save a broken leg so they all get to go to prom together. Another sappy happy ending. But evil lurks just around the corner as the vampire girlfriend of the one they killed is watching in the darkness. Cue sequel.

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